Man I'm Chillin

Man I know its been a super long time since I put my blogging cap on but I didn't realize how super crazy/busy/psychotic college life is. There just isn't enough time in the day. Or night for that matter.
Well basically I'm rolling with the flow but staying on top of my game. Grades are pretty good, people are pretty good. Life is basically major drama free. But I must admit I am home/momsick as all hell. Thanksgiving can't come fast enough. I miss everything and everybody. There are a couple of things I need to jump on the horse with but I'll be okay.
As for my father...well he is under the dog house, and he can't stop spewing bullshit to save his life. But hey it is what it is. My roomate and I get along pretty well...I mean we're basically on two separate planets but we're cool.
Tragically FAMU can't win a football game to save their life either. I just pray to God that we win homecoming. But hey.....Go Rattlers!!! lol.
Well right now I'm very hungry (lol) like most college student are, I just wanted to stop by and fill you guys in so siyanara.

Chillin lika Villian
Taylin

I'm sooo 18

Okay I have to dedicate this short post to one of the best events in a young persons life. I'M FREAKING 18!!!!!! Finally it has happened ya'll. It just feels good to say it ....type it whatever. So ya'll know this weekend is going down especially if we win our game against Howard. Sheeet! lol but naw for real I'm just sooo friggin happy lol. I just had to share it with ya'll.

Jumping up and down in circles,
Tay Lin

Lies I Tell Ya...All Lies!!!!!

When I was a young child I had this stupid conclusion in my head that lying would make certian situations turn out better, as I got older I learned that that was absolutely positively wrong. But sometimes that stupid little girl creeps up on me and I make the mistake of telling a lie to get out of a situation or having to deal with a consequence. Well I lied to someone I care about deeply and I felt like the largest accumilation of shit in the world afterwords. I knew this person knew I was lying so that made it 100 times worse. I basically felt like digging a whole half way to china and jumping in it. In the end all I could say was that I was sorry but sometimes even the person who is saying they're sorry knows that it isn't enough. So all I can do is work on myself, try to banish that stupid little girl all together, because the feeling that I'm feeling right now is not worth it. It never was.

Sad b-day girl,
Tay Lin

Momsick

First Week of Classes at Famu
Day 13

Okay ya'll I'll brief you on my first week of classes a lil later but Ihave to get this out of the way first.

This morning I was chillen in my bed after a loong night of partying and my friend was chillen in my room on here laptop. While I lay pondering my day with my eyes closed she started to blast a cd that i was pretty familiar with, Stone Love by the artist Angie Stone. The music automatically made me think about another Angie in my life...my mommy. Yall I'm finally sayin it....I MISS MY MOMMA!!! I miss cryin laughing with her, I miss cruising on the street listing to music (i.e. Angie Stone), I miss laughing at or getting freaked out by weird ohio people, I miss cooking for her (even If it wasn't exactly what she wanted), I miss sleeping in her GREAT bed, I miss watching T.V. with her, I miss watching bootlegs with her, I miss going to Easton mall with her and laughing at the little whit kids, I miss soo much about my mom I could go on forever I'm actually not really homesick but I'm definately Momsick. So again I will fill yall in on my classes later but i had to get that out. Mommy I'm coming home! Well in my mind.

Missing Mommy,
Taylin

No more drama ....I wish!!!

Day 6 at FAMU
Freshman Week

Okay so its Friday, and you think I would be happy because my dad is bringing my things tommorrow...Well I'm not, because he's not. And agian I knew this would happen. This is "my life in the sunshine" as my mom would say. So as he proceeded to tell me that my things might not arrive as late as next Wednesday I told him, "Well I'm gonna need some more money because I was under the impression that my stuff would be here by now!" This negro had the audacity to ask me what I neended it for! I just wanted to scream over the phone "I NEED MY EFFING SHIT!!" I have classes next week I need my school supplies and all of that stuff. This is just crazy all I can say Is ...Why ME!!!

About to have a nervous breakdown,
TayLin

Fabolous FAMU

Day4 at FAMU
Freshman Week

The rapper Fabolous said it best, "1 And Then The Two Three And The Four Then Ya Gotta Breathe."
Sometimes you just gotta exhale and let the chips fall. Yep I'm Miss. Optomistic today because things are finally looking up (a lil bit). I'm slowly but surely getting this financial aid thing together. Basically I am gonna have to take out a loan. But at least I know now that next fall I'll be ready with some good ol' scholarships. I took my placement tests to day I think I did pretty good on my Math but Chemisty was horrible I saw so many things on that test that I'd never seen before in my life...It just really scared the hell out of me because I DO NOT wanna take prep classes that I cant even get any credit for if I failed that test. But again i'm gonna be optimistic and not sweat it.
Did I mention I attended my first Frat party!!! It was hosted by the Q's (Q dogs I know yall know who im talkin about) for all the freshman. And boy was it...interesting...the Q's are very...hmmm I'm looking for the right word lets go with testosterone overdose!!! But it was really fun Ididn't drink (foreal yall no lie) and i got to meet some cool people so it was all good. But the only down side was that I was tired as hell for orientation today. Oh well life goes on. I'm bout to get outta here cause i am a broke college student who loves the free buffet at the college cafe enough said.

Turnin my frown...sideways,
Taylin

Money Money Money

3rd Day at FAMU
Freshman Week

Right now I am a broke freshman. Not just a regular broke freshman but a broke freshman thats can't even afford to be IN SCHOOL. I just found out that out of the ten thousand something dollars I have to pay this semester I have only recieved a little over 4,000 dollars from the government. Three words WHAT THE HEEEELLLL!!! I am in no way rich AT ALL the only one who has been supporting these past years is my mother, she doesn't make that much at all plus she is also attending college so how in the hell is that all that I'm getting from this dumb ass Fafsa bologna? Right now I just wanna go back to New Orleans/Columbus and get my fat butt back in bed(preferably the fetal position) and wait until its all taken care of by some invisible force.
So now I have to take out loans...I really don't know If I'm doing that right to begin with. Plus I don't want to have to pay that damn money back EVER.But this is what it is and I'm just gonna have to stick it out hopefully financial aid will be alot more helpful when I go back because they sucked the first. I don't even know what exact questions to ask these people. My brain is just scrambbled and going at a thousand miles a minute. So to keep me from letting out a gigantic frantic scream in the middle of this library I am writting this all down. Maybe this will clear my mind a bit, if not..that person you hear screaming in the distance somewhere, far off but you know you can hear it......it's me.

Crying Broke(literally) ,
Tay Lin

I love my FAM fam!!!

3rd Day at FAMU
Freshman Week

OMG So much to say....I flew to Tallhassee, Fl with three heavy ass suitcases and rode a taxi all the way to campus BY MYSELF.... Why? You ask? Well because my father's truck broke down...Yep completely stopped a day before he was supposed to take me and my things to FAMU...Sucks monkey butt doesn't it.... Well long story short I made it here and my things will be brought up by my father Saturday( Hopefully). I have MANY things to say about this whole little "situation" but i would be typing until I graduated. So we'll leave it at...I'm here. So how about we make this easy and go over some points I'm sure you wanna know about:

Campus?
Campus is beautiful...It's actually better then I thought it would be...There are lots of nice places to chill(even a bowling ally) There is also this main part of campus everybody hangs out at called the set its always poppin there

My Dorm room/hall:
Wheatley hall is not the best of them all but its definately not the worst its basically pretty clean (except for at night when the bugs come out eeekkk!). The girls in the hall are nice and everbody speaks. My room is great its bigger then I thought it would be and me and my roomate have just enough space to not have to kill eachother over lol. So i think I'll be okay.

My Roomate:
My roomate (we'll call here Lilbit) is really sweet and nice. But its so funny to see us walking together because she is 3 times smaller then me(seriously i can see right over her head lol). But she is cool and she shares lol which is great for me since I have barely anything until next week. So so far so good...I'll keep you up dated on how we get along.

People?
Again EVERYONE is sooo friendly...I think its because its the beginning of the year and everybody is happy to be here hopefully it will last...

Classes?
I don't know my schedule yet but I'll keep ya posted.

Food?
I have a pretty cool meal plan 12 meals a week(2 meals Mon-Fri 1 meal Sat-Sun) and $225 dollars in Flex bucks wich i can use a campus pizzahut , KFC etc... So I think I'll be pretty good with that one...There is a cafe (buffet) and other stuff so I'm cool with that



So thats a lil run thru for you I'm makin it through sofar enjoying lil parties and things like that its really fun watching the frats and Sororities stepping through the crowds at the parties...But of course ever good thing has a dark spot and mine is Financial Aid...Im workin on it though but I am gonna need a BIG LOAN (lol) to halp me out...I am definately scholarship hunting hard for next fall cause this money shit is rediculous
But I will keep yall posted on all the happenings

Takin it all in,
Tay Lin

3 Months Later...Feels Like 3 Lifetimes

~7 Days Left~
Well Hello...
Yes I have been gone for 3 months and now I'm back ...to stay (I promise).
Lets start off with the obvious...yes I have changed the name and look of my Blog... I am starting College at Florida A&m University in 7 days (explaining the header). So I have matured my blog im gonna be a college girl! So much has gone on in the past 3 months, Im gonna try to give you the condensed version. Prepare for a really long sentence....Im still with Red,I still talk to Looney but he knows the deal now we have no future even hough he broke up with Mrs. Looney, obviously I've been accepted into FAMU, Im back in New Orleans for 2 weeks(now 1 more week) until I got off to school, My DADis driving me there..along with my brother and step sister(yeah i will DEFINATELY write about that intresting 6 hours), my mom and I are still close, shes having alot of health problems though and Im really worried about her, I start school in a week but that bootleg ass university still hasn't sent me a Financial Aid packet(despite my frequent calling to their office), I talked to my roomate a lil bit she seems cool but the jury is still out, I have everything for my dorm(basically), My Nanny, Father , and Grandmother(dads side) are STILL crazy, I still haven't figured out a sure fire way to tell them how I feel, and I soo excited about school my head is about to explode!!!! Whew deep breathe....So THATS the condesnsed version...I'll be talkin and talklin about gettin ready for school, school and everything in between like studying cold pizza at 4 am. Stay Tuned.

Preparing for the Beginning,
Tay Lin

SeniorCitizen

I am stuck in a tornado made by myself. I have so much on my mind right now between graduating, prom, scholarships and getting into college. My head is about to explode. I really need a day planner for all the things that are going on. But im focused on so many diferent things I'll probably loose the darn thing. Being a senior sucks right about now. All of my friends in New Orleans graduated already and I'm really hating on them...seriously. Its not fair they no longer have to worry about all the crap I'm worrying about. It's like as the time gets closer its goes slower. I'm not in a rush to go to college im just in a rush to stop stressing. I know its a short post but I just had to try to calm the storm well at least in my mind.

Waiting to hit the ground,
Tay Lin

Letting the Looney Past Go

Im learning something... You can not enjoy your future when the past is constantly calling you on the phone. Red (below) is a part of my future, someone who I want to include in what I have plannned for myself. And then there's Loony he wasn't always loony...okay yes he was but I just didn't wanna see it. He was my first everything. So letting him go has been a very hard task. We've both tried not talking ands just erasing eachother out of our lives but that plan didn't work at all. Eventually we were on the phone again pretending like we didn't have separate lives.
So you know what I've got going, on school, Red, college etc. Loony has a girlfriend also, she's 25 (five years older than him) and has a kid. I do not mind talking to Looney sometimes but sometimes its pointless like when he talks about them shopping for sex toys(that they plan on using every night) or what kind of panties she wears ooor what kind of kinky lingerie he's getting here for Mother's Day!!! What makes him think I want to listen to that shit...ever!!! But this is the thing that gets me...he needs me. He needs me to talk to about the crazy things Mrs.Looney does or when they get into huge fight or when he is suicidal. This is where my issue with my Father comes up because when I needed him most he wasn't there and I feel as though I was the black sheep he just didn't need me in his new life.
I have known Looney for basically 2 years dated him for 1 and the things that he told me on the phone last night made me feel like I'd only just met him during that phone conversation. He basically said that he and his girlfriend got into a big argument and it ended with him being pretty abusive to her throwing her out his house and effing up her car. I sat in a fake suprise, I call it fake because I wanted to be surprised because he had never been that way with me but I couldn't be because I really knew how crazy he had become. And then the icing on the cake was that she stayed with him and he just bought her a $1000 dollar promise ring.(yeah right, its such an engagement ring I just think he doesnt wanna tell me) and she STILL wants to have a kid with him.
So now I am officially through he is not only Looney he is confused. I used to be confused but I'm not any more. My mind is clear, you are not gonna call me at 12 o'clock at night telling me how much you care for me and wanna get back with me one day then tell me how you wanna start a family and eventually marry someone else. I have learned that life goes on and we're NOT gonna be in love with eachother for the rest of our lives. Thats it...I have Red now who is in no way confused or ABUSIVE or LOONEY so its time to let the past go.

Bye Looney, it was fun you gave me alot but you gotta deal with youreself by yourself.

Finally Letting Go (for real),
Tay Lin

InpspiRED

Okay let me tell ya'll about somebody moms don't even know about (well kinda). We'll just call him Red. I met Red when I attended Higgins High School (New Orleans, La). I think he was the only good thing that came out of that aggrivating school. Red is tall and he's a football player so he's pretty stocky he has long hair, his skin is a Indian red (caramel color with a red undertone for all ya'll non southern people)therefore he gets the name Red. Red, like any male, has good qualities and bad qualities. He's sweet, funny, crazy(thats good and bad), smart, caring, and talented. On the other hand he's got a temper(but never against me), he likes to drink (not a angry drunk), and he's not graduating from highschool this year(couple of bad descisions in middle school). But honestly despite those things he is some one I would like to spend the rest of my life with. You just can tell sometimes when someone really cares about you and doesn't have any other hidden agendas. One of the things I REALLY like about Red is that he has a P-L-A-N. He wants to go to college and major in engineering. He wants to do what he loves and not do what he has to do to get by. I have been taught all my life that that is something I will never have to worry about if I achieve all my goals. He believes the same.

I'm not even gonna front ya'll when I first met this dude he was last on my list. I mean really I wasn't even kinda interested. But being the nice person that I am I gave him a chance and we got to know eachother. Unfortunately, when we had just decided to start a relationship I found out that I had to move to Columbus, Ohio : ( (Sux 2 B Me). So since I moved up here last year we've been talking ALOT on the phone. He always called me 'wifey' but I got tired of dealing with these a**hole dudes in Columbus and decided to get into a real relationship with him. The long distance thing is really gonna suck exspecially when I move to Florida for school but I just have to stick with it because I know no other guy cares about me as much as he does right now. And whats better then a guy who sincerely cares about you and thats not perfect but perfect for you.

Loving Red Finally,
Tay Lin

Real Wolves Don't Give a Sh*t About Sheeps Clothing

The above statement is beyond true for me right now. I have a part-time job at Wendy's out here in Columbus, when I first got this job I was too excited. It was a pretty cool job and my co-workers were as cool as could be. But now....I would like to blow that entire place to smithereens!!! Yes smithereeens...What I didn't know was that fast food is not only filled with fattening food but also people who don't give a damn about you or your feelings that will stab you in the back or straight up disrespect you just for a freaking laugh. I knew that there was wolves in sheeps clothing but I didn't know there was wolves who would stand straight in your face and be a wolf like aint a damn thing wrong with it. But hey, you learn something new everyday. Well for now I have to put my thick skin on for these next two months that I'll be working at that hell hole and "G up!" like my friend would say. But to all ya'll wolves out there I'm giving ya'll a shout out cause it takes alot of balls to have no heart.

Recognizing Wolves,
Tay Lin

"Give us us Spring !"

Why is it cold?
For the people who don't know by now it is APRIL !!! Why is it 33 degrees and snowing outside my window? Today is the first day of SPRING break, not winter break. It's supposed to represent a new beginning for nature and everything, yet I am still stuck in this cold crap of a place. Okay so it got warm for a good couple of days, just enough for you to get all comfortable and happy. Then you get slapped in the face with freaking cold. Great, just great. I personally do not have a problem with cold weather but I am at a point where I am ready to see change. I mean I'm getting ready to graduate, go on my first trip out of the country by myself, and in some months I will be starting college. So I really need some warmth right now to help me along and keep me from trying to get my lazy butt back in bed and not do anything with my life. So for right now I am not a happy camper. "Give us us spring!" (inside joke) is what I would like to scream out on my balcony. What I really think I should do is hop on a plane to New Orleans as a stow away....but with my luck I'd get shot for being a terror threat or something. So for now I guess I'll be struggling through this freaking cold until this dumb weather feels it wants to act right. = (

Continuously Freezing,
Tay Lin